you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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