Non-Jews are for practice
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
