You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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