i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Still dying that you shit outside
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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