Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
