It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Sext me about skeletons
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
