Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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