I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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