the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
