I only kidnapped one of them. chill
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
