the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
