508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
