Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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