Have you finally orgasmed yet?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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