Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
