return my video game
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
