fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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