what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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