i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
