***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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