And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
