I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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