Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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