so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
