the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
