He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
