At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
