I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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