whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
