You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
