What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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