is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
