my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
