I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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