Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
