guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
