I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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