It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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