Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
