the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
