just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
