i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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