VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
