I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
