So drunk its hurt
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
