yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It's blow job season.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
