I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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