never play flip cup with pint glasses
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
