dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
