he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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