Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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